This time we take a deeper look at the remaining meta programs and exploring both what they mean for life, and how they relate to our fears.
In this episode –
- Recap on metaprograms?
- Why some people are always on time, others are always early, and neither can convince the other there’s a problem!
- Why can two people speak the same language and yet have so many problems understanding each other?
and a whole lot more!
Note – this is currently a highly automated transcription, so some of the text might not be wholly accurate – we are working on improving this over time!
You’re listening to the Keith Blakemore-Noble radio show, helping you transform your deepest fears into your greatest strengths. Here’s your host, Keith Blakemore Noble…
Welcome back to another episode of the key Flight Went over Radio show This is our second off two episode Looking at meta programmes Now I hope you caught the previous one two episodes ago. If not, I strongly encourage you to pause this one. Go back a couple of episodes catch the first episode all about meta programmes where we introduce what they are, Why they’re important and we start taking a look at the first night This this step So we’re gonna look at the rest of the meta programmes now you’ve gone through the first one Maybe started noting down What? Some of your get your programmes outside So I’m gonna figure it out, starts to give you a bit more information about you who you are, how you work. I also get curious where Hal is ties in with various fears that you’ve got I didn’t come to you for when you work out each of your mental programmes work out How is this showing up in terms of fear for me. How is this affecting fear for me? How does this contribute to sort of fearful? Because that gives you a more insight. You know what’s going on? So let’s take a look at the rest of the meta programmes carry on working these Ah next meta programme. Next philtre is abstract slash specific abstract of specific philtre is basically what level of abstraction does your mind tend to operate on? Naturally. Do you tend to think in specific details? Do you tend to think in the grand ass grander, abstract as concept of life or you somewhere in between you start and want to move to another or vice versa. These could tell you a lot about how you have you so many things. But basically these four options here do you focus puree on the specific details. You’re only looking at specific small details or are you abstract? You’re only looking at the overview, the bigger picture, more abstract concepts, more of that the abstract thinkers of work. Do you go from specific too abstract to you? So when you stop thinking about something, you first of all, look at the small details and then you kind of move up to the more abstract, higher, higher level to see how it all fits in. Or do you start with the abstract overall? Bigger picture. So you start with a big picture on, then work your way down into the small details. And again, remember, with all of these, there is no right or wrong. It’s simply what is for you. So what? What do you are you? Do you work a small detail level? Do you work for the abstract level? Do you started the detail and build up to the bigger picture? Or do you start with the big picture and then work your way down to the smaller details? What is the one for you next? One we got in comparison philtre on this is easy. When we got lots of information, we tend to look for similarities, or do we tend to look for differences? Is it easier for you to notice what’s the same? What’s easy for you to notice what’s what’s what’s the difference? Whether that’s with people, things, situations. Whenever you tend to notice, it’s kind of five options you do. You tend to notice the similarities that that’s kind of all you notice you just noticed similarities. Do you notice only the differences? Do you notice only that offices? Do you notice mainly the similarities? Here are a few differences here There. Do you notice mostly the differences? You notice a few similarities or are the only you notice similarities and differences equally. There’s a great image which could really help you figure this out. It’s an image of three coins. All of all of them are heads to the head is pointing out. One head is pointed to their what? It’s kind of on its side to side our summary. What do you notice about this? If they say are too close to the coins? Got the heads point in same direction. They focus on similarities if they looked and go. One of these coins is looking different. That cooks our differences. I have some might say well to the coins are pointing up, only one of them looking different. But they are three coins. They’re all heads. It’s just one of them a different way. They look at similarities with some difference if they kind of go Oh well that pointing in different ways. Although the Arnold coins they look at differences with similarities or they could be similarities and differences combined, they notice all of it again. It’s kind of what do you know? Just, you know, drawn to noticing the similarities or differences or a combination. A challenge response. Philtre. Now this is a really interesting one. It is, is how you respond when you’re challenged when you’re faced with a challenge or a stressful situation. Do you? How do you react to stress? Do you think about things, or do you go by feel? What do you want to have? Choices. That’s your challenge. Response. Philtre. But when? When your challenge is it more about what you think? Is it more about what you feel or is it to do that? Do you prefer to have choices, choices, options? Charlie Sheen’s option two choices available to you? That’s that’s kind of how it’s all about how you deal with those sorts of situations. Stress all sort of things. Do you think your way through it logically? Do you just react? Go by gut. Feel an emotion or J How Choices says you challenge the sponsors, and that could be useful to figure out to know in advance How you’re gonna react in a situation for worn forearm? Forewarned is forearmed. Say so. If you know, I challenged. I normally go out my emotions, you know? Hey, will be helpful for me to have some techniques toe. I think we need to keep my emotion low, for example. Yeah, I wasn’t making sense. What? What do you think of it? I can’t let me know. Mia Coleman sent me a message. Posted comments. Wait where? You see once, you know how you find this and also kind of figure out what? What? You’re your particular field today. Now, here is a really, really good on this. This can cost so many arguments where people have different, different time awareness philtres they technical terms for these are in time and through time. Basically, Are you do you kind of focus on being in the moment, or do you give your winds towards a time schedule? Best way to illustrate this. If we agreed to meet somewhere at six o’clock, are you gonna get there like ten to six? And perhaps that’s perhaps start to get a little bit anxious if I’m not there by five to six Or are you gonna roll up? Six. Five past ten. Past quarter past six. Hey, what’s the problem? I’m here. If you’re habitually early, perhaps you have a planner, you always have a timeline. You know exactly where you’re gonna be any given time, very much. A through time person. On the other hand, if you kind of play it by ear, take, take, take each injury fully and enjoy each moment or cough. Supposed to be seeing Keith six o’clock. I’ll be there. I’ll be there. I’ll be there. I lost track of time. That’s very much in time, person. There is no right and wrong with these. Remember, there’s no right or wrong, but it really does help to explain why some people get really annoyed when if a person’s late, where other people see no problem. What’s the problem? I’m here. What’s for sure? It’s because you have different time awareness. Philtres. That’s all it is. But knowing that can really, really help. If you are through time persons, you’re actually early. We were gonna meet at six o’clock, right? Okay. I’m gonna be there from quarter to six to make sure not like to make sure ready. When you’re meeting someone who you know is an intime person, They’re probably not gonna get there for five, ten, fifteen minutes late. If you know that you can prepare in advance and you can be prepared so loud, I’m gonna be difficult to accept. But we don’t turn up to a quarter past something. Make sure I’ve got something I could do. Tio, you make use of my time. Time away. So many arguments caused by Bieber with mismatching philtres. Another interesting one is a focus Philtre. Where do you orange your focus on having your own needs? Fulfilled it on having your needs fulfilled. Is it on fulfilling other people’s needs, or is it both? So, basically, do you focus on what you need? Forget anyone else. It’s what I need. You focus on making sure everybody else has got what they need. Maybe not paying much attention to what you need. So your needs may not be fulfilled. Or is it both? You know, it’s important for all of us to have exactly what we need. Where where is your focus? Yes, it can be very, very, very good to be focusing on others. But if you do that to the detriment of yourself. How much longer you gonna be able to help us? Other people, for example. So with each of them, there are pros and cons. It’s about being aware of where you sit in that whole thing so that you can m better plan how you go about doing things. If you become aware that you are self focus and you tend not tend to ignore, other people, go. Oh, perhaps I ought to look. It may be focusing a bit on other people as well. Possibly. But you could be aware of it. Makes sense. Certainly hope so. Let’s take a look at the next one, which has improved in pro sure information processing philtre. Do you tend to think through a problem, or do you consider it externally? So you’ve got a problem? We got a situation. Do you kind of sit down and analyse it? Think through work through yourself. Come up with an answer. Do you process information, or do you need Teo talk about it without Let’s talk it over with other people get their input on it. So you protest information externally, so you’re facing the problems you go. Let’s see. Here’s my problem number. I have a solution. Process internally, or do you have a little problem? Okay, Gang, what do you think we should do? I’m seeing this. Is anybody else seeing that? Is there another way we can look at it to process externally. Just useful for free figuring out how you handle this. Now we come. Teo. Great couple off. Philtres Are these two philtres when you get these mismatch? Boy, these can cause so many arguments. I think these these two philtres mismatching these two philtres probably responsible for more relationship breakup is anything else when you when you really think about it. But there’s a listening philtre and there’s the speaking philtre. Both of them have the option of literal or inferential. So let me explain that statement listening one first. So, actually, let’s explain what we mean by literal and inferential. First literal, is you treated exactly It’s take a step back. Let’s explore the listening because I can demonstrate it better with examples. So a listening philtre literal if you’re listening. Fields was literal. Somebody says something. You interpret what they say literally. If somebody says to you it’s cold to you That is giving you information that the temperature is cold. That’s interesting. Or are you inferential? So they say I’m cold. Do you infer from that some meaning or a command that you don’t respond to? They say I’m cold. Do you think cold? Okay, that’s interesting. You’ve taken it literally. Or do you think Oh, maybe they’re asking for a blanket. Or perhaps they’re asking for me to turn the temperature. You’re in third meeting there, Perhaps infertile. Come on. So somebody says something to you? Do you take it literally, would you? Unfair a suggestion. And beyond that, you kind of you take it exactly as given what you read between the lines. Oh, what do they mean when they said dot, dot dot Actually that can cause a lot of doubts for something. If you have a little self doubts, you’re quite probably haven’t inferential. Listen, philtre somebody says something in your immediate thought is what do they mean by that? What I tried to say What’s the hidden message behind it? Oh, I thought you were quite good. I thought your cooking was quite good today. What do you mean by that? I mean my cookies. Normally bad. Are they saying that I’m a rubbish cook? I’m saying I didn’t like the food. Where is the fact that you say good Enjoyed that? So you’re literal or inferential system And then we got there flip side of it, the speaking philtre. This is how you communicate when you’re seeking to make a point, Do you say directly and who literally said how it is all you say, indirectly hinting and seeking for them to infer. So do you say, Oh, could you turn the heating up, please? That’s literal, or do you say one a bit cold, hoping that they are going to offered to turn the heating up or offer to get a blanket. So basically, do you say what you mean? Or do you kind of hint and hope they’re gonna pick up on what you want? You said Now these two, the listening and speaking feels when you have a mismatch on those. So you have somebody who is perhaps as ah inferential speaking, philtre, talking to somebody who has a literal listening philtre, you could get all manner of all manner of conflicts going all manner of miscommunication on DH. If it’s in a relationship that can cause problems that could cause a lot of problems over time if you have somebody who is a literal speaker but someone who’s an inferential listener again, that Khun calls a lot of problems of entirely cause miscommunication, misunderstandings, people not quite sure what’s going on. You say things exactly as they are. The other person sounds looking for hidden meanings and looking for hints and try to interpret what you meant comes up with a completely different meaning. Whoa. Could be a great communication lost that if you both if you are a literal listener, a literal speaker, straightforward communication. If you’re inferential speaker, an inferential listener, there’s still the possibility for miscommunication, but it’s much less like you. Both know that what’s being said isn’t the actual message. The message is behind what’s being said, very keen to get buried. But as you’re listening philtre you speaking philtre and they are very, very, very closely closely linked. It’s entirely possible for you to have, for example, for you, for example, for me, my speaking philtre is literal, but my listening philtre is inferential, so I say things exactly the way I want to make a point, but I hear what other people say. I’m kind of looking for what’s implied behind what they say, what they mean by that. What what are you hinting at that can cause all manner of issues and problems and song Over time? I’ve I’ve kind of changed my listening philtre now to, ah, literal, literal philtre. So my speaking and listening on our literal on DH does that make every situation you see? I probably know, but which my life on it does lead to greater, greater clarity and communications. Oh, actually, that’s the answer. The question that you might have. Can your philtres be changed? Absolutely. They can. Should you change your philtres if you want to, only if you feel it will be beneficial. But it is possible to change him if you saw which sometimes they will change when you go through other deep change work anyway. Sometimes they can be the thing that you choose to change in and of itself. That’s based. That’s the main philtres there. There is one other thing that’s that’s a term they use is motile operator secrets. It’s basically what’s the phrase you used to motivate yourself if you I had to motivate itself to really go and do something you don’t particularly want to do. What’s the phrasing that you used to motivate yourself to really get yourself, too? Yeah, do it. Um, I could be an interesting one. That’s one was generally mohr off of useful, perhaps managers at central meaning to motivate staff. What’s the phrasing that the person would use to motivate themselves? If I use that, I could help them to find them automation. They can also be interesting to note how you motivate yourself. I’ve got a great thing waiter to figure out what your motile operator sequence is. It’s just to think that, too, when you’re getting up this morning, what was the very last thing you said to yourself before you got up? It was the very last thing you said yourself before you got out of bed. She wants the things that motivated you to get out to that. Come on, let’s do this or I suppose you’d better get it done or hey, I wonder what’s gonna want another day’s gonna bring. Could be all manner of things, huge possibilities. But there we go So that is our set off metal programmes just to recap Um some we did last. So someone did this one. We’ve got the motivation philtre motivated by towards way towards what you are away from the pain combination orientation philtre you motivated by possibility your necessity, success orientation? Have you know that your success was it? Does it come from within from without for mixture, we got decision making. So how do you make a decision? Is it based on what you see here, Read or do on DH? What? How do you How do you get convinced is it? You automatically decided that you need several options? Is you need a period of time? Or is it you have to be constantly convinced if you’re ever recruiting for a Q a position. Somebody who’s convinced the philtre is need to be constantly convinced they are perfect for it because they will be looking at every single item to cheque. Does it match does easy. Okay, Does it fit our requirements? You don’t want Q? Hey, Buzz news as maybe a three time convincer Look at the first three. Yeah, they’re all right. Rest spotify thie leadership philtre do you know are you have to feed yourself all those. Both are you. Do you take take action so your energy directly to take action now, or do you pause and reflect? Do you do make sure both or are you inactive until somebody else makes the decision? Are you a team player? Independent player manager? That’s your performance. Philtre your work satisfaction philtre what you most enjoy about what things its systems, people. You preferred interest. What really get you going? Music people, places, things, activities, information. Do you look at the big picture? The small detail started. Small detail worth big picture what you started. Picture work for small detail Again. Each one’s perfectly valid. It just knowing what your situation is. With comparisons, you know, for similarities. You look for differences or mixtures and biassed towards one of the other. When you hit a challenge, do you think about it? You have a feeling, or do you look for choices? Are you in time or through time? Are you habitually early or as and when? When somebody specifies the time is that if you’re over that time late, or is it that’s more by way of a guideline. Really That any definite have to be that? So are you in time or through time? Do you make decisions internally or do you talk them through with other people? Is your information processing external when somebody’s speaking? Do you listen to what they say literally? Or do you in third look for the meaning behind it? When you’re speaking, do you speak literally, or do you kind of dropped hints? Oh, it would be nice if the curtains were closed. Probably would a supposed to order closer cuts, but those are metal programmes. There is there is another one other matter programme. It’s It’s all about your focus awareness, which is basically you focus on yourself. You focus on others your focused on both but those of the metal programmes. Some of them, as you can see, have a direct bearing on our relationship with fear. We explicitly mentioned that around a couple of them, particularly motivation sector. But as you look through all of these, you will start to notice their relationship with you and your fear that constructing deeper insights that could be really that’s that’s it for this episode. Let me know what you thought of this. If you want to share your meta progressively, please do drop me a message. Drop me a line getting talk from the website If you like this episode, whatever you found us, like us. Subscribe. Comment. Recommend it and share it with your friends far and wide, share with whoever you think would benefit from it. Leave me coins getting touched that we know what you think. If you got any suggestions for future episodes again, please do let me know. Until then, take care. Look after yourself. And remember, change is always possible and when you change your mind, you change your life.
You’ve been listening to the Keith Blakemore Noble radio show Helping you transform your deepest fears into your greatest strengths. To find out more, please visit KeithBakemoreNoble.com
Keith Blakemore-Noble – Fear Strategist, coach, international speaker, multi-time best-selling author, hypnotist, occasional magician, and presenter of this show.
And someone who, for far too many years, was massively held back by a very strong social phobia – speaking with strangers, or even meeting strangers, was at best deeply uncomfortable, and at worst utterly terrifying for him. For far too many years.
So he did the logical thing – he pursued a 20 year career in IT with some success (becoming a Fellow of the BCS in the process).
Until one panic attack too many, which forced him to reconsider his life.
So he studied NLP and hypnosis, used those tools to conquer his own fears and phobias, and since 2010 he has helped others around the world to transform their deepest fears into their greatest strengths through his coaching, speaking, books, and trainings. Indeed, since 2010 he has helped over 5,000 people to transform their lives.
Having travelled the world for a while doing this, he has settled back in his native Scotland, where he is focusing on the next step in his journey of helping as many people as he can to conquer their fears. Which includes this Show!
Since 2010 Keith has helped over 5,000 people to transform their lives.
Now he brings the distillation of his experience into a weekly show designed to help you to transform your deepest fears into your greatest strengths.
Some episodes feature Keith running solo, discussing topics related to fear, phobia, mindset, and taking an interesting look into where it all comes from and what we can do about it.
In other episodes, Keith invites a special guest to join him and to discuss their experiences in overcoming their own fears, so that we can gain some insight into how we might do the same, or even to explore the more esoteric areas around fear – sometimes in some unexpected yet very interesting ways!
Presented in both audio and in video, across multiple platforms, so that the show can meet those who need it where they are.
Award-winning coach, international speaker, multi-time best-selling author, hypnotist, occasional magician, and writer of this post, Keith spent his first 40 years suffering from several phobias including being terrified of speaking with strangers. After one incident too many, he started studying and training in NLP & hypnosis to conquer his own issues, found he was rather good at it, and changed careers (aided by redundancy at just the right moment after 20 years in IT). He helps people transform their deepest fears into their greatest strengths, and having helped over 5,000 people across 5 continents, he is the UK’s #1 Fear Strategist.