The One With Clare Bradley

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:00:32]:
Hey. Hello. Hello. Welcome to another episode of the Keith Blakemore Noble Radio Show. I hope you enjoy this. I hope you, hope you like it. Hope you find it an interesting one. I’ve got a great guest on this week.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:00:44]:
Please do remember, give us a like, give us a comment, a share, a subscribe. It all helps to spread the word. The more people that listen to this, the more people get inspired. My guest today is a lady called Clare Bradley. Now Clare is the founder and driving force behind the anger management coach. With over 20 years of experience as a police officer and experience of facilitating behavior change for domestic abuse perpetrators, Clare brings a unique perspective to the world of emotional resilience and anger management. As a certified NLP practitioner and NLP and EMIT coach, Clare has dedicated her career to helping individuals and organizations to transform their approach to anger, to communication, and to emotional health. Clare’s expertise isn’t just theoretical, though.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:01:35]:
She has been in the trenches. She’s worked 1 on 1 with clients, led impactful workshops, and provided training to charities and companies alike. Her practical, compassionate approach has helped countless people to gain control over their emotions, to improve their relationships, and to lead more fulfilling lives. Beyond her professional achievements, Clare is known for her authenticity and her relatability. She’s based in the UK where she lives with her partner Jen and their 2 beloved dogs, Sebby and Stanley. Clare’s passion for per for personal development extends into every aspect of her life, making her a powerful voice in the field of emotional resilience and anger management. And more recently, Clare has written a chapter in a book collaboration with several other women, and that book came out in October of 2024. That is my guest today, Clare.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:02:32]:
Let’s, bring her in. Hello, Clare. Are you there?

Clare Bradley [00:02:35]:
Hello. How are you? Thank you so much for such a wonderful introduction.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:02:40]:
Oh my thank you so much for for, coming on and being a guest today.

Clare Bradley [00:02:44]:
Thank you.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:02:46]:
So, Clare, we we’ve heard your bio. Mhmm. I think your bio is too. I gotta ask, who is Clare? Who is the lady behind it all?

Clare Bradley [00:02:56]:
She’s an extrovert trapped in an introvert’s body, I think. I don’t know. I guess I’m just a a very quietly wanting to go out and to make good in the world and and I see what’s happening. And and I just I just have empathy for the people, you know, in our communities, the people that I meet. And and I want us all to be able to to have good in our lives. And I’m not trying to say that as that’s my I want to rid the world of of all harm. I’m not that, you know, I’ve not got my hero k pom, but I do. I really care.

Clare Bradley [00:03:49]:
I really do care and and that’s a deep care of I don’t like seeing people going through trauma and and being beaten down in life. So if I can help in any which way that is, then it it’s like the starfish.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:04:14]:
Oh, yeah. That’s the word. Yeah.

Clare Bradley [00:04:16]:
If we all pick 1 starfish up and throw it into back into the sea, we’re all doing our little bit, and I love that. So, yeah, I’d like to think I’m I’m doing my bit for the starfish of the world.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:04:29]:
Beautiful. Beautiful. Now we’re gonna we’re gonna explore it in a bit more detail, as as we get to it. But just before we do, you’re an anger management coach. Just in a nutshell, because we’ll come back to it, but in a nutshell, what is that? What’s it all about? And is it just for people who have massive anger issues, or is it something that that can help everyone

Clare Bradley [00:04:52]:
in the world? So anger management is, I I like to say it’s almost like a play on words because it isn’t just for people who are angry. We and and let’s let’s be true. We all get angry, every single one of us, Whether that is mild anger in that just niggling frustration. So anger in itself is just an emotion. So I am there to help people. I I like to say calm their storm so that they can help that so they can communicate what they’re trying to say and therefore help themselves have better relationships whether that’s in a personal relationship or whether that is in a work environment. So it’s just helping people to say what is deep within rather than it all coming out and not making sense, and making them look as if they’re aggressive, etcetera.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:05:56]:
Got it. Got it. That makes a make that does make a lot of sense. So I can see how it’s something that applies to far more people than you than one might initially imagine. Now you weren’t you weren’t always an anger management coach. You weren’t born, Matt. No. You you were you’re a you’re in the police for for many years, be before then.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:06:17]:
Kind of, what what, how was that in the police? And, also, what what what made you leave and and and move into what you do now?

Clare Bradley [00:06:25]:
So it was my childhood dream to be a police officer. It’s all I ever wanted to do. And I I and I lived in Blackpool, so I was in was in Blackpool from being 6 weeks old to being 41. And I used to see police officers going past when I was a little girl, and I used to get really excited about it. And I remember even as a teenager, I’d see the police and I’d say to my mom, there’s me, mom. Because it I don’t know why. It was just this huge passion of that’s exciting. I want to do that.

Clare Bradley [00:07:01]:
I just didn’t want an office job. Didn’t want a 9 to 5. And so, yeah, I joined so I I left school with no qualifications. I I had a GCSE for typing and, went to college, got my GCSE so that I could join the police, and joined when I was 20, and did so I was at Blackpool. I did loads of different jobs. I was a jailer, community beat manager, licensing officer, all sorts. So many different people in many states of vulnerability. And that’s what you need to remember.

Clare Bradley [00:07:44]:
When you’re a police officer, you’re being invited into people’s vulnerabilities and that you’re seeing them not at their best.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:07:55]:
So

Clare Bradley [00:07:57]:
you have to be able to be compassionate and empathetic with that, but also be compassionate to yourself because you’re taking on a lot of people’s emotions that are being passed towards you or are being aimed at you. I mean, look at what we’ve seen recently with the protests Yeah.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:08:17]:
Yeah.

Clare Bradley [00:08:17]:
All towards the police. So I unfortunately, towards the end of my career in in about 2010, I woke up one day and I had pins and needles in my arm and in my fingers. And I went to see the doctor. They gave me some, medication for it and that lasted perhaps for a week. And then I woke up one day, and the pins and needles had gone, but I had excruciating back pain in my lower back. And that was the the final of Clare being in the police because it was 247 chronic lower back pain. It was like having toothache in my back.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:09:05]:
Yeah.

Clare Bradley [00:09:07]:
And unfortunately, being in the police, I had to wear a stab vest.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:09:12]:
Mhmm.

Clare Bradley [00:09:12]:
And it was getting so bad that when I got back into my police car, I’d have to push the seat back and literally grab hold of my trouser leg and pull.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:09:21]:
Yeah.

Clare Bradley [00:09:22]:
Yeah. That was pain.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:09:24]:
Yeah.

Clare Bradley [00:09:25]:
And I was under pain management and they just couldn’t do anything. They wouldn’t they weren’t prepared to operate.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:09:30]:
Mhmm.

Clare Bradley [00:09:31]:
So I had to be medically retired from the police. So that unfortunately was the end of that. And so, yeah, I I left there and and it was a it was it took 18 months to go through the whole retirement process. And then when it came to an end, I got a phone call, say, on the Tuesday to say, your paperwork’s going to the chief constable tomorrow. And, it got signed. They rang me up and said, your paperwork’s signed. You can leave now. And that’s brutal after 20 years.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:10:06]:
Thanks a lot. Yeah. Good. So, I mean, that that must be a huge upheaval. You’ve you’re you’re doing the job that you’ve always wanted to do from what from when you were when you were young. Mhmm. And now all of a sudden, you’ve had to be medically retired from it. That must that must be really hard.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:10:25]:
How did you how did you get through that once? What what can happen?

Clare Bradley [00:10:29]:
Yeah. It was incredibly difficult. It was and I kind of felt lost for a number of years. I know the the next few months, I actually moved to Yorkshire because I was in a relationship, at the time, and so it was the best thing to do was to to move. Mhmm. So in some respects, it was a whole new start so I could build from that, but I did feel very lost. And at the same time, I was on a medication for, restless legs, and that medication had a really serious side effect of prolific gambling. And, unfortunately, yeah, that took over my life, and it really did take over everything.

Clare Bradley [00:11:21]:
My my whole thought process is everything was just gambling. And I’m and I’m grateful that I’m over that now, and I’ve sought help. But that in itself and I know we’re gonna talk about it later, but that is the chapter of my book. The chapter in the book, sorry, should I say. But so, yeah, it was very, very difficult. There was just so much going on, and I felt very lost. And I think, yeah, I think I only realized afterwards that I found me again.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:11:54]:
Mhmm.

Clare Bradley [00:11:55]:
I just didn’t really exist, I guess.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:11:58]:
Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Let me so how how did you how did you conquer the, the, the gambling side of things, or was was that something that had to you had to wait till the medication stopped before it stopped? Or how how did you get

Clare Bradley [00:12:11]:
No. So the medication had to continue, and it was a it was an absolute trial. So I eventually realized it was the medication that was doing this where, you know, I’ve been trying to stop, trying to stop, and it was never getting anything more than a couple of weeks before I’d be back gambling. And to try and keep it anonymous, I had contacted an NHS gambling clinic and I’d referred myself to them. And, they did some various, phone calls with me, and they said it’s the medication. You need to speak to the doctor. So I went to speak to the doctor, got absolutely nowhere there. The doctor basically said it’s you need to decide whether you can deal with the restless legs or the gambling.

Clare Bradley [00:13:06]:
It’s your choice. Nice. Yeah. Absolutely. And left me with I walked out of the surgery thinking what on earth? Why have I just been through that? And then a few months later my dad passed away. So there was lots of things that then I had to concentrate more on my family rather than getting me better.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:13:29]:
Mhmm.

Clare Bradley [00:13:30]:
And

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:13:31]:
And

Clare Bradley [00:13:31]:
in the end I moved doctors and the new doctor I went to see them again plucked up the courage and said please can we change my medication because it’s having this effect. And the change in doctor was amazing because I just got the help straight away. So, thankfully, somebody listened.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:13:53]:
Soft, and that’s what it takes, isn’t it, for when when when you’re in a whatever whatever situation you’re in, it it takes that somebody listening and makes such a difference such a difference.

Clare Bradley [00:14:05]:
And I and I think that’s kind of what I try and do in my work Yeah. Is Yeah. A lot of the time, the people that I have worked with, particularly when I was working with domestic abuse perpetrators, nobody had ever listened to them.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:14:22]:
Mhmm.

Clare Bradley [00:14:23]:
And I’m not trying to take away from their behavior because that isn’t right. It’s not you know, I’m not condoning that at all. But they professionals had never ever listened to them. So as soon as they’re faced with me, I would have got a wrath of abuse, etcetera.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:14:43]:
Mhmm.

Clare Bradley [00:14:44]:
But as soon as they realized I was listening and I was actually taking on board what they were saying and we were going into the why rather than the you’re a horrible person

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:14:58]:
Yeah.

Clare Bradley [00:14:58]:
It it can shift people’s behavior.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:15:01]:
It certainly can, can’t it? Now the gammon, you you you mentioned that’s, the main theme of your chapter in the book that you’ve con you contribute. Just tell us a little bit about about that book because that came out in, October 2024. I know there’s a few a few of you, in that book. Just tell us a little bit about it.

Clare Bradley [00:15:21]:
So yeah. So I think that came out on 11th. So literally only a few days ago, and that is a collaboration. So it’s called beyond the ordinary, navigating the creative and neurodivergent mind. And it’s headed up by, a lovely lady, Mandy Nicholson, who invited, 30 or so of us, to write a chapter in this book and it’s so everyone is either a creative or as neurodivergent and each chapter is that lady telling her a particular story. I don’t I haven’t seen the other chapters yet but, it’s all talking about how they have gone through things and how they have managed to overcome. So, again, it’s a brilliant book of resilience.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:16:23]:
Yeah. That’s awesome. And the title of that book again is?

Clare Bradley [00:16:26]:
It’s beyond the ordinary, navigating the creative and neurodivergent mind.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:16:35]:
Lovely. Lovely. You’ll be able to find out more details about the book in the show notes for this episode. Go to the usual place, Keith Blakemorenobal.com/show. Look for the Keith Blakemorenobal radio show, and then look for the one with Clare Bradley, and you’ll find, details about the book and and where you can find it. And it’s, it is well well worth, well worth checking out.

Clare Bradley [00:16:58]:
Absolutely.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:17:01]:
You got a you overcame those those issues. You you got the help. You overcame the the gambling, etcetera. And you’re now an anger management coach. How how did that come about, and and how did you get through to to becoming that?

Clare Bradley [00:17:15]:
So, the trial for me kind of continued because I then ended up in a domestic abuse relationship myself. And so and it’s the trial of life, isn’t it? It’s, you know, we we get over something, we move on to something else, etcetera. And I returned back to live with my mom and I made it. So I it was the first time in my life I’d ever been unemployed. And I made it my mission to get a job. And I sat Monday to Friday, 9 to 5, applying for every single job I could think of, anything that was there. And within a month of being home, I had got a job, and I was working for a domestic abuse charity, working as a behavior change facilitator for perpetrators of domestic abuse.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:18:07]:
Mhmm.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:18:08]:
And it was that that absolutely lit me up inside because I could see the difference that this role was making on people. You know, we had men who were being abusive, but beyond that, there were women and children who were being victims of domestic abuse. So not only was I helping that perpetrator, but in order to in in helping them, the victims and children were being helped as well. Yeah. And it just just to see the change in how these men were talking to me and presenting to me from that first day to 5 or 6 sessions later was was something I’d never seen before. And it was all we were using NLP, so neurolinguistic programming, and I went out and invested in myself and got myself trained up as an NLP practitioner.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:19:13]:
Nice.

Clare Bradley [00:19:13]:
So then I could I felt more than empowered to go into work and help the men even more because I’ve got more tools in my toolbox. Yeah. And, I just loved it. And I I honestly wouldn’t say that about something if I if I didn’t genuinely believe in it, and I’ve seen the difference. So yeah, that’s how I got into that and then from working within the charity I thought I want to do this for me as a business. I cannot visually do it because they’re paying me to do it. But it was almost like my wings were being clipped because I had to work a particular program. So that was when I thought, no, I’m gonna leave the employment and set up the business and and be there for myself.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:20:10]:
Nice. So how how did you how did you take the jump, make that leap from employed to self employed with your own business? Because that that can be quite a scary scary, concept for for many people to to make that leap. How did you go about it?

Clare Bradley [00:20:25]:
Very scary. I so, originally, I stayed working, so I’ve stayed being employed, and I was doing the anger management coach at weekends and in evenings, etcetera. And so it was incredibly tiring because there was just never any time off. So in the back of my mind, it was always there that I need to have the confidence to do this job. And then I think sometimes we can outgrow or our values and beliefs change and they don’t match our employers anymore.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:21:03]:
Mhmm.

Clare Bradley [00:21:03]:
And the simplest way to say that is to say that I kind of outgrew that and just thought now is the time. And it really was a leap of faith which is very unusual for me because I am absolutely someone who will beat myself over the head saying you you can’t do it and I just took the leap of faith and was like we’re doing this Now or never as they say.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:21:32]:
Yeah. It’s I like the way you described it there that you you’d outgrown, the situation of being in employment. So it was it then became more of a natural progression to to take the sleep. It’s still scary, but it’s Absolutely. Yeah. But it’s it’s more of a natural progression rather than I thought it was time to do something different. This was now just a, right, it’s time to grow, grow, grow, grow stage.

Clare Bradley [00:21:59]:
Absolutely. Because it very much was, we had a set program to run. So some of the things that I had learned weren’t within that program.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:22:11]:
Yeah.

Clare Bradley [00:22:11]:
So and I just felt by by becoming the anger management coach, I can help more people. I can help, you know, I was very much only able to work with men.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:22:27]:
Mhmm.

Clare Bradley [00:22:27]:
So now I can open up to women, LGBT relationships. I can go to I can go and promote it at universities, colleges. Right. I’ve done a a workshop for Andy’s man club. So it’s things like that that previously I couldn’t do. And so that very much limits anybody’s knowledge of behavior change that because we are always beating people over the head saying people can’t change. Leopards don’t change their spots. Yeah.

Clare Bradley [00:23:03]:
Well, they can and they do because I’m showing you I’ve I’m turning up as the person that has changed.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:23:11]:
Yeah. Nice. Nice. Just just to kinda wrap things up, I mean, I I and I appreciate this is a very open ended question. But just give us a a sort of flavor for for how you would you work with people.

Clare Bradley [00:23:28]:
So people can, come to me on a one to one coaching, and I can do that via the Internet, which, unfortunately, if COVID taught us how to, to do that. Well, how wonderful that we can reach more people in that respect. But also one to 1, you can’t ever be actually being sat in the same room as somebody and having that conversation. So I can do one to one coaching. I can also do group coaching, at webinars, workshops in person. I can do talks, all sorts of things really. I’m very much bespoke to what the people need, particularly with the coaching. That’s always bespoke to each client because everybody is very, very different.

Clare Bradley [00:24:19]:
The circumstances are all different. So, so yeah. And I also, can do the domestic abuse perpetrators programs as well. But at the minute, because I’m a business and not a charity, there is a a fee that goes with that.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:24:38]:
Of course. Yeah. Yeah. What’s the sort of things that somebody should be looking out for that makes them go, you know what? I need to speak to Clare about this.

Clare Bradley [00:24:47]:
I think if they are in a situation where their emotions or they feel that they are not quite in control of their emotions or that after an event, and hindsight is that wonderful thing. But if they’re looking after the event and thinking, I should have or could have handled that so much better or I wish I had, then they need to reach out.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:25:17]:
I get you. That makes sense. And for people who wanna people who want to find out more, bit more about you, bit more about what you do, and maybe even reach out, what is the best way for them to do that?

Clare Bradley [00:25:28]:
So they can go to my website. So that is www.angermanagementcoach.co.uk. My email address will be on there. There’s a contact on there. They can, contact me via WhatsApp on there, and it tells you all about what I do, etcetera. So then there’s loads on there.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:25:50]:
Brilliant. So that’s www.angermanagementcoach, all one word, dotco dotuk. Yeah. You can find out loads more about Clare, what she does, how she can help. You can get in touch through many different methods through there. Clare’s also on, as you might imagine, she’s on some of the socials. You can get more details from anger management coach.co.uk, or you can find all the details in the show notes for this episode. As always, Keith Blakewell Noble.com/show.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:26:19]:
The Keith Blakewell Noble Radio Show, and look forward to one with Clare Platt Bradley. Clare, time as always is is against us, but thank you so much for coming on. I really appreciate you you sharing your journey with us, and it’s, a thing for me that that that really stuck out is the the huge change it makes when somebody actually listens to you and takes what you’re saying seriously. That can make that can transform the person’s world, and that’s exactly what you do.

Clare Bradley [00:26:51]:
Of course. And it’s so easy. Just listen.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:26:54]:
K. Yeah. Just listen. Love it. Thank you so much, Clare.

Clare Bradley [00:26:58]:
For having me.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:26:59]:
My pleasure. And thank you, dear listener, dear viewer. Thank you for for joining us. I hope you’ve hope you’ve enjoyed it. Remember to give us a like, a comment, a share, or subscribe. Give us a review on your favorite platform. All helps to spread the word. Go check out Clare, anger management coach dotco.uk.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:27:17]:
Check out some of the other episodes, and I’ll catch you in another episode very soon. Bye for now.