The One About The Gala pt 1

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:00:33]:
Hello. Hello. Welcome back. Welcome to another episode. This is normally a solo episode, and I was gonna be talking about, mental health. And, there’s a charity gala coming up, which of which I’m a proud sponsor, and it’s raising money for, get together for calm. Oh, sorry. Come together for calm, which is raising money for calm campaign against, living miserably.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:00:55]:
But I thought rather than me waffle on about it, I’d bring in some of the some of the people who are involved. So without any further ado, let me shrink myself down to here, and let me introduce Becca, Claire, and Zoe. Hello, ladies. How are we doing?

Becca Innes [00:01:10]:
I’m good. Thank you.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:01:12]:
Awesome. So, hey. So Becca, Claire, and Zoe are organ no. Organisers, sponsors. They’re all involved with, with the, Come Together for Calm, Charity Gala. This think of this as, part 1 of of 2 part episode because, in a couple of weeks’ time, we’ll also be doing an episode, with a panel of men as we talk about, men’s perspective on mental health. And there is an, there is an important reason reason for that, which we’ll cover in in just a moment. So think of this as as a as a 2 part one.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:01:51]:
Before we we get in any further, let’s let everyone introduce themselves. So my name is Keith Blakemore Noble. I’m the host of the Keith Blakemore Noble Radio Show, mindset master, and I’m proud to be a table sponsor for the gala. Next to me, we have Becca.

Becca Innes [00:02:07]:
So I’m Becca Innes, and I’m the founder of Come Together For Calm and, I guess, the organiser of the gala. So yeah.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:02:15]:
Yeah. You are a new. Next, we have Claire.

Claire Napper [00:02:20]:
Yep. So I’m I’m the end sponsor for the gala. I think it’s the same as sponsor, but tell me if I’m wrong. They’ve been hanging out with different crazy fun things since she has idea 4 years ago. Yeah. It’s just how could I not be involved?

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:02:40]:
Exactly. Exactly. And we also have, the amazing Zoe Wadsworth. Hey, Zoe. How are you doing?

Zoe Wadsworth [00:02:47]:
I’m good, Keith. Thank you for looking forward to be she is host of the concert, for Gala.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:02:56]:
Nice. Nice. First things first, Becca, when is the gala? When and where is it?

Becca Innes [00:03:03]:
It’s on 16th November at the Village Hotel in Coventry.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:03:08]:
Brilliant. 16th November. Tickets are tickets are available. Tickets are on sale. You can find more information on, on the gala. You can find more information on, come together for calm. You can find more you can find lots more details. Created a a link especially for it.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:03:25]:
Keithbn.link/calm. If you go there, you’ll find all the details. And most importantly, you’ll be able to to get, tickets for the for the charity gala. Some of you, regular viewers and listeners might recognize Becca. Becca was on on the 27th October last year where we spoke about, similar themes, mental health. We spoke about some of the charity work that, that Becca does, including her incredibly insane climbing, a mountain in the Cairngorms on crutches. Do check out that episode, episode 2 of series 5, 27th October last year. That will give you some of the background.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:04:04]:
Also gives you, an idea of of why, Come Together for Calm was was set up. Becky, can you just give us, like, a a really quick overview of of of why it was why you why you set it up?

Becca Innes [00:04:18]:
Yeah. So, most people will know I lost my cousin’s suicide in July of 2020, so during lockdown. And I wanted something positive to come out of it. So the following year, we started fundraising, doing all sorts of crazy things. And, yeah, we’ve just continued to do different things ever since. And, yeah, it’s not just about raising money. It’s about raising awareness and giving people that space to talk about their mental health. And yeah.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:04:49]:
Yeah. Fantastic. Yeah. It’s it’s it is really important and really powerful cause. And one of the reasons, why was why was it CALM in particular that you chose to, raise funds for and and support?

Becca Innes [00:05:03]:
So when I started fundraising, Calm was predominantly a charity that supported men, and it’s not a huge charity. It’s not by any means the biggest mental health charity, and I kind of wanted to support a smaller one, but also their phone line’s a little bit different. So instead of speaking to a volunteer, you’re actually speaking to a trained professional that can point you in the right direction and offer you some help. So those are kind of the main reasons that I chose it.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:05:31]:
Got it. Got it. And your your cousin was, was a man as well?

Becca Innes [00:05:35]:
He was. Yeah. Yeah.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:05:37]:
Yeah. And, yeah, it’s it’s true. A lot is there’s a lot of support out there for for women with mental health. There was less support for men, and that is that is getting better. And that’s that’s why you say that’s why you chose CALM because it was it was your cousin. And that’s why we’re we’re having 2 episodes. 1 focusing, women’s side, and in couple of weeks’ time, other rep’s focusing on the the men’s perspective. Because it it it can affect everyone, can affect any any one of us, and, believe the statistics are something like 1 in 4 people will suffer from mental health issues.

Becca Innes [00:06:14]:
Yeah. And, you know, from the obviously, I’ve spoken to a lot of people over the last 4 years, and the majority of people that I’ve spoken to that have lost someone to suicide is a man. I think I spoke to Claire yesterday, and she said, yeah, the people she’s, you know, lost are also men. So that’s why it’s kind of so important for me to have the male perspective there as well.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:06:37]:
I get it. I get it. So totally get why you’re you’re, right, doing the gala. Claire, you’re the, major sponsor for the for the gala. What what attracted you to it apart from the mega threatening you?

Claire Napper [00:06:55]:
No. She didn’t threaten me, actually. I wanted I wanted to sponsor it because even though he’s raising money, you know, it was about doing it for men and their awareness. I’ve suffered with mental health, suicidal thoughts myself since a very young age. It’s taken a long time to kind of get to where I am now where I can talk it openly. I’ve got good people around me that support me when I’m going into my quiet moments, stuff like that. And for me, this is just about my way of giving back and kind of helping to share that awareness. As Bec as I’ve lost 3 people to suicide, they’ve been men.

Claire Napper [00:07:33]:
My partner suffers from mental health quite seriously, and it is it’s very always seen as men just suck it up and deal with it. And whereas we kind of will sit and we’ll talk to each other and support each other. So I think it’s really important to know they’ve got a place as well.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:07:49]:
Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, you’re right. So so often, men were were were brought up with

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:07:55]:
with that whole thing. Big boys don’t cry. And, if you can show emotion, you’re you consider me just

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:08:01]:
man up and and other

Claire Napper [00:08:03]:
I I don’t man up, but, yeah, that’s one of the common ones.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:08:07]:
Yeah. I know. It’s it’s, I know there was a there was a big movement in in Australia, about that whole man up, nonsense because it it is very, very unhelpful, and it does result in in far too many men suffering in silence and paying the ultimate price, which, of course, then has knock on effect for friends and and family around as well.

Becca Innes [00:08:30]:
Yeah. I think it’s something like, Cam said, it’s a 140 something people are affected by each individual suicide, which is a huge number. And to be honest, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s more.

Claire Napper [00:08:42]:
Yeah. Wouldn’t.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:08:44]:
Yeah. It did. It has a huge, huge impact, doesn’t it? And Zoe, you’re you’re the, you’re the host the host, for, the the charity. What’s what brought you into this? Why why why did you, agree to be the host?

Zoe Wadsworth [00:09:01]:
Very similar to Claire’s journey in terms of Becca in lockdown ultimately through online networking. And very much was aware of the situation and Becca’s mission to do good things in adverse circumstances and you know support Becca the best we could as a community. And we’ve been involved in other things throughout the past 4 years and my background is event management. And when the girl occurred to fruition, I was glad to host it and support and just share the positive message that, you know, Becca and the team are playing here in terms of allowing people to come together and talk about mental health openly.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:09:58]:
Yeah. Yeah. As it’s, it’s gonna it’s gonna be a fab a fabulous evening, itself. What’s for for those who don’t know what’s gonna be, going on in the gala, let’s just talk a little bit about that. What’s what’s happening in it? What what can people expect when they when they come along to the gala?

Becca Innes [00:10:17]:
This is where I’m like, oh, what do I say? So I guess the big selling point is gonna be the end of the night. So, you know, we’re gonna have all the serious stuff. We’re gonna have people talking. We’re gonna talk about our story as a, you know, community. We’re gonna talk about Cam’s background, have a couple people talking about the serious stuff, and then, you know, we’ve got the games and the auctions that you’d expect from a charity gala, but I didn’t want everyone to go home feeling sad. I wanted to end it on a bit of a party. So we do have a DJ, from Hart FM. We’ve got Toby Anstas finishing the night.

Becca Innes [00:10:53]:
So I think everyone should leave with a smile on their face.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:10:57]:
Brilliant. Love that. That that’s quite a quite a thing to get to get Toby because I know he’s he’s, sometimes quite difficult to get to get a hold of. So

Becca Innes [00:11:05]:
one thing you learn about me, Keith, I am not scared to go after a no. I’ll ask anyone for anything.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:11:12]:
This is very true. And that’s reflected in some of the items that are, in the in the charity auction as well. Can you give us a a bit of a a preview of some of the things that we’re we can be bidding for?

Becca Innes [00:11:22]:
Yeah. So we have signed football from Chelsea Football Club. We’ve got a signed shirt from Manchester United. We’ve got one from Everton. We’ve got some original artwork, and my personal favor is that we have the signed cane from House, signed by Hugh Laurie, and that’s the one that meant the most to me.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:11:42]:
Yeah. Wow. Will will you be will you be secretly bidding on that one and hoping

Becca Innes [00:11:48]:
Yeah. A few people have said to me, are you tempted to just keep it? And I said, well, I can’t because I don’t actually have it. It’s not in my possession. But, yeah, I’m sure I will be putting a bid on for for that one because I’m gonna have to take that home.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:12:02]:
Yeah. So how so how long how long is the evening from start to finish?

Becca Innes [00:12:07]:
So the drink reception starts at 6 o’clock, and we finish at 1 in the morning. I probably finish before 1 in the morning because that’s well past my bedtime.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:12:18]:
Nice. So a a really, a really packed, value filled, evening. How how much are the tickets for the gala?

Becca Innes [00:12:26]:
They are £99 each.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:12:29]:
That and for for a good 7 hours, that that is good value, especially with the with the meal and the entertainment. And as you say, finishing on a high with a set from DJ Toby, Toby. That’s gonna be rather good. Now all of all of us here are are involved have got involved because we’ve we’ve all had, encounters with, with mental health. Just wondering if if anyone wants to to share. I mean, we’ve we’ve we’ve

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:12:58]:
shared a little bit about about it. Who if anyone wants to kind of

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:13:01]:
share their, how how, mental health issues have affected them. And I’m aware

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:13:08]:
I’m asking people to open up and being be a bit vulnerable, so I shall go first to

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:13:12]:
show that, hey, we we all we all have this. I talk about it from time to time. It’s the one thing that frustrates me is whenever I talk about it, people go, oh, you’re so brave talking about this. No. I wish we’d stop. Wish we’d stop with that and just make it something that it’s okay for everyone to open up about. You don’t have to to be brave. You’re just sharing an aspect of of what’s happened to you.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:13:39]:
I think the reason people say it’s brave is because there is still such a massive stigma about talking about mental health issues. And the only way we’re gonna overcome that is by allowing people to be open and by being open about it and sharing and by listening when others when others share their experiences as well. And for me, mental health, personally, I’ve suffered, mental health issues for probably as long as I can remember. I can’t actually remember, quite when it would have started, probably in in my teens, suffered from from bouts of of depression from time to time. I don’t just mean that, oh, I feel a bit today. I mean, full on clinical depression, which can last for weeks, months, years years in some cases. And on 3 occasions, it did result in me, making serious attempts on my life. Fortunately, every single one of those failed.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:14:38]:
I do have to point that out because I did did I I remember one time I was talking about this, and I said, oh, I I I attempted to to end it all 3 different times. Somebody actually asked, did you succeed? It’s like, well, honey, unless you think you’re speaking with a ghost, say, hey. I did.

Becca Innes [00:14:54]:
Yeah. And we’re glad that you didn’t.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:14:57]:
Thank you. Me too. I’ve been I’m waking up the next morning feeling rather annoyed that it didn’t all work, but there we go. But yes. So I’ve I’ve experienced that. And, a couple of occasions, I did seek, seek professional help. Both cases, I ended up on, medication, which made a a big difference. The most recent one, I was on sertraline for a couple of years, I think, I was on it.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:15:28]:
And and I know some people are saying, oh, aren’t you afraid you’re gonna be on those on those pills for the rest of your life? It’s like, well, so what? I mean, I’m asthmatic. I’m on inhalers for the rest of my life. You don’t you don’t have a go about that. I’ll be wearing glasses for the rest of my life. You don’t have a go about that. If I end up on, antidepressants for the rest of my life, it’s better than the alternative of stopping them and not really having much of a life. So, yeah, I was on on medication, and one of the misconceptions is that it kinda makes you all zoned out and happy. No.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:16:04]:
That’s there are drugs that do that, but you can’t get those, from the from the doctor. But, this is the thing with, with antidepressants as well. I think they just take the edge off the the worst of it so that you can actually start to cope and actually get through your day without constantly thinking of of ending it all and constantly thinking all those those thoughts. It it doesn’t turn you into a a mind of song, but it just lets you actually get up and get on with the day. So, that’s been my experience with it, and that’s why I was, I’m delighted to be a a sponsor of the, the Come Together for Calm, Gala, and why I will continue to talk about mental health issues. That’s my experience. I don’t wanna take over take, too much on this. Does anybody else want to share, any of their, experiences that they they wanna share with us?

Claire Napper [00:17:01]:
I’ll share a bit. I only through a lot of the work I’ve done, I suffered from I’ve, like I said, suffered from mental health from a very young age, probably around 12 or 13. But I I went down the route of masking alcohol and drugs because I didn’t wanna feel anything. Took an attempt to take in my life. I was really annoyed when it did work. Yeah. You know, it’s crazy how you sit there after being much crazy that not work. How I look I’m like, I’m really grateful it didn’t.

Claire Napper [00:17:35]:
You know? I’m so grateful for everything I have. But, yeah, I’m still on antidepressants now. I have tried coming off of them, but my head is such a dark I think if I did come off of them, I’d lose around me in a situation they wouldn’t wanna be in. So if it means I’m on the meds forever. So but it’s you know, it’s it would be nice if it did make you a bit of a mindless to tell me that you could just go around and do what you need to do. Because when you have all those thoughts in your head sometimes, it’s just a lot to get out, even get out of bed and just do the normal day today. It’s so hard. And so many people don’t realize how hard it is just to get up and do things.

Claire Napper [00:18:21]:
So it is it takes a lot. And

Becca Innes [00:18:24]:
Yes. Yeah. Absolutely.

Claire Napper [00:18:29]:
You know, it it it takes a lot of a lot. And it it’s it’s surprising how emotionally draining it all as well, and it just affects you in so many different ways.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:18:40]:
Yeah. Yeah. You’re right. There are there are some days where if all you do is get up, have some get dressed, and have something to eat, that is a win for that day because it can be literally that debilitating. Yeah. Thanks thanks for thanks for sharing, Claire. Thank

Claire Napper [00:18:59]:
you. Okay.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:19:03]:
And, Becky, you you you shared with us how it’s it’s affected you with the with the loss of your

Becca Innes [00:19:08]:
I guess I’m very lucky in the fact that I’ve never been depressed or needed to be on antidepressants. Yeah. I’ve always been quite open that I don’t really struggle with my mental health. Yes. I have slight anxiety. My eyebrows are not real. They’re drawn on my face because I pull them out. I always said I’d you know, it’s not a mental health thing, but people have said, you know, you’re obviously a little bit anxious.

Becca Innes [00:19:33]:
That’s what that is, but it’s nothing that’s unmanageable. So for me, it’s very much about, you know, I’ve seen friends. I’ve seen family go through really tough times, and that’s what makes me think, do you know? I’m in a position where I don’t struggle. Therefore, most people that try and help people do. It’s very rare to come across someone that’s never been there themselves that actually cares enough to speak and try and help all those other people with them.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:20:02]:
Yeah. Yeah. That that’s a really good point. It’s a really good point. And it’s it’s, it’s one of the things I love about this is the fact that you who don’t suffer personally from it are there and going, you know what? I’ll do what I can to to to help those who are in that place. Because sometimes you do need people who are not in in that place to be able to to actually help. Yeah. What about what about you, Zoe? Have you any any, any experiences or anything to to add on this one? So it sounds it seems there any human no sound there, unfortunately.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:20:41]:
Hope at least at least, we won’t be relying on this technology when when it comes to Zoe hosting the, hosting the gala. She’ll be there live in Perth, which which will oh, great. No. Thanks. But yeah. So what and one of the things I I do like about Calm is the way they support people who who have mental health issues. They’re there to support. As you say, it’s not, simply volunteers on the end of the line.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:21:11]:
It’s trained professionals who are there to help, which is is, is a very important thing. It is a big difference. And also where they they help those around those who are suffering from, from mental health. What’s what’s kind of some of the support that they they offer there as well?

Becca Innes [00:21:28]:
Yeah. So they do offer, if you’ve lost someone to suicide and you don’t know how to navigate that, you don’t know how to deal with it, you can ring and get support from that aspect as well. So it’s not just for the people that are suffering themselves. It’s you know, they try and offer those around them the tools to help. And it is you know, that’s something that I haven’t really seen many other places offer. Most places are very much focused on the individual that’s struggling rather than the the fact that they need support around them, and sometimes it’s not the easiest to be there for someone that’s in a really dark place.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:22:04]:
No. You’re right. Sometimes, eve even when you’re in a good place, if if someone you care about is in in that dark place, it can be, incredibly difficult to know what to do. It can also be incredibly draining on you as well.

Becca Innes [00:22:15]:
It yeah. So that’s one thing. You know? We did a 12 hour livestream a couple of years ago, and I sat on that livestream all day, and I’ve never been more exhausted in my life. And, you know, that’s one thing that I have to manage is I can take other people’s emotions on quite well, but I do find it really tiring.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:22:36]:
Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. So that’s hopefully, that’s, given everybody just a little kind of, snippet of of why we’ve we’ve all chosen to to support, the, the charity gala. Just give us give us a a quick reminder of, when it is.

Becca Innes [00:22:55]:
It’s on 16th November in Coventry.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:22:58]:
16th November in Coventry. And you can get you can get tickets. Tickets are still available. If you go to the link keithbn.link/calm, you’re able to find out more about, the gala. You’ll be able to find this episode. You’ll be able to, also, buy tickets for the gala. The reason we’re giving you the short link is the tickets are on Eventbrite, and Eventbrite don’t make it easy to give you a nice short link.

Becca Innes [00:23:24]:
Something novel of those links.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:23:26]:
They are. So Keith b n dot link slash calm. Find out more. Get your tickets, and, do what you can to help support Come Together for Calm so that we can all help support those, those suffering from mental health issues, and also those who are, those whose whose loved ones are suffering from those issues. Because it’s something which was it you said? A 100 140 people for every

Becca Innes [00:23:55]:
Yeah. Yeah. I think it was 145. It’s somewhere

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:23:59]:
Yeah. It’s a lot of people need support. Brilliant. Well, thank you so much, Becca and Claire, and thank you to Zoe, Zoe who’s who’s had to leave. She was having technical issues with her connection. But thank you all for for taking some time out, of your day to to share with us, some of your insights and also help us to understand why, the Come Together for Calm Charity Gala is such an important thing to support. And thank you, dear viewer, dear listener. I hope you’ve, got something out from this.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:24:28]:
Remember, if you do need support, CALM are there for to to offer support as well. So if you if you’ve been affected by anything in this, reach out to CALM, and they’ll be there to to help support you. And, also, please do what you can to help support come together for CALM to help raise much needed funds for this. Again, keithbndotlink/calm will give you, all the information you need. If you found this episode useful, do give us a like, comment, share, subscribe, or review a review on your favorite platform. Tune in next week for for the next regular episode, and tune in in 2 weeks’ time for part 2 of this where we’ll be exploring mental health from, men’s perspective. And the reason we’re doing that is that’s a big part of, why Becca’s children calm as, as the charity support. But until then, thank you so much for joining us.

Keith Blakemore Noble [00:25:19]:
Take care, everyone. Do go check out, Come Together For Calm Charity Gala. Bye for now.